Mistaken Identities

Sometimes names were subtly mangled in hilarious ways:

The Watch:
Doorman: (into phone) There's a George Bonanza to see you.

The Bottle Deposit:
Susie: No daddy, you'll hurt him! I love him! (waving after Newman) Goodbye Norman, goodbye!

**Ed. update: The farmer's daughter's cry of "Goodbye, Norman! Goodbye!" at the end of the episode was not originally scripted. Actress Karen Lynn Scott forgot that Wayne Knight's character was called Newman and accidentally called him "Norman", but the goof actually made the scene funnier, so it was kept in

The Baby Shower:
Jerry: My cable hook-up? What about it?
Agent: It's been illegally installed, Mr. Steinfeld.
Jerry: It has? I've been out of town. How did you know?
Kramer: Jerry, I had to tell them. I had to. I had no choice. They were onto the scam from the very beginning.
Agent: You're in serious trouble, Mr. Steinfeld.

The Van Buren Boys:
Peterman: Peterman here.
Kramer: Mr. Peterson, you gotta sell me my stories back!

The Maid:
Man: You Steinfeld?
Jerry: Yeah.
Man: My name is Maxwell. I'm from Maid To Order. It's a pun.

The Bubble Boy:
Waitress: What's your name?
Elaine: Jerry Seinfeld.
Waitress: Gary Steinfield! I saw him on the Tonight Show.

The Package:
Kramer: Yeah. All right one chart coming up. Bennette, right?
Elaine: Benes. My last name is Benes you jackass.

The Money:
Morty: You know that number?
Kramer: I used to have a problem. (into phone) Well, what do you mean, he's not registered? Wha ... S, E, I, N, V ...
Helen: F. F, E, L, D.

The Strike:
Frank: (To George) Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute. (To Kruger) Cougar, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe ... I lost my train of thought.